The Denver Burts: Potty Training

Wednesday, September 15, 2010

Potty Training

So taking a new approach to this painful process of potty training, I decided to get a million little trinkets at the dollar store (or the dollar section at Target) and wrap them up individually in brightly colored wrapping paper and put them all in a basket. The idea behind this being that every time he went potty in the toilet he would get to "Pick a prize." Good idea, I thought, since Taylor LOVES presents so much so that hes been talking about his birthday party for months now, asking everyone, adult and child alike, if they are coming to his birthday party (No such party has been discussed but after eating a birthday cupcake and helping unwrap birthday presents that Chris and I got...back in June, he decided it would be nice for him to have one as well and has been talking about it ever since). So after painstakingly wrapping a million little toys big and small and arranging them in such a manner as to make them irresistible to the eye, I eagerly approach Taylor with the idea. This is how it went:

Mommy: "Taylor come look at all these presents! If you want to go peepee on the potty like a big boy you get to pick out ANY of these presents you want and unwrap them and keep the toy inside!!"

Taylor: "Ummm... Well, how about next day? I don't want to right now."

You can imagine my HUGE disappointment especially when, 2 hours later, I was in the midst of changing another one of his poopy diapers.
I am continuing with the "Prize Basket" with only one semi-success (he sat down, but didn't go to the bathroom).

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Taylor Talk

Taylor: "That's one fine frog and I'm gonna catch him!"

Taylor: "Dad, can you make me invisible and tiny so that I can jump into the TV and live in Ponyville?"

Taylor: "Umm, I forgot what I was doing, hmm. OH WAIT! I unforgot, nevermind."

Taylor: "My name isn't Taylor anymore. Just call me Ninja, only Ninja."

Taylor: "Isabelle, I'm pretty sure you're ruining my life."

After hearing some loud thunder Tay runs upstairs and says:
"Hey guys! That was some thunder. The bad news is there's a tornado coming. The good news is everything is going to be a huge mess."

After being "asleep" for an hour, Tay comes downstairs and says:
"Mom, Dad, I kindof accidentally played with some toys in my bed and dropped one behind it. Could you come find it for me so I can put it away."

"Mom, who glued my bones together?"

Dad: "Hey Tay, I think I saw some dinosaur tracks outside this morning..."
Tay: "Next time we see the dinosaur I think we should shoot it and eat it."

"Hey Tay, who do you think ruined all your Lego Transformers?"
"Isabelle did, because I call her Isabelle the Destroyer."

"What do you want to get daddy for Christmas, Tay?"
"Lets get him a purse so he can keep all his stuff in it and some cords that he can plug some other stuff into."

"My shirt says Wild to be Born, Bells." Actually it says Born to be Wild. I thought it more entertaining not to correct him the whole day.

"Mommy, can we get another baby from the pet shop?"

"Daddy, I need a cell phone."
"Why do you need a cell phone, Tay?"
"So I can pretend to make a call."

I hear Taylor talking at the top of the stairs after I put him to bed about 15 minutes earlier, talking in his doorway.
"Tay, what are you doing? Get back into bed."
"Its o.k. mom, I'm just telling myself a story."

"Really Mom, really. We're picking up Transformers and you put a blue block in with them? Really, mom?" (All this said with an extremely patronizing look in his eye that I can only guess comes from his father.)

Taylor: "What are we doing today mommy?"
Mom: "We're going swimming with Jake and Jamie."
Taylor: "Oh, um, actually I meant to tell you, I already have some other plan, mom. Sorry."

Hearing Tay calling for me after bed I head up to his room where he promptly tells me his tummy hurts. I say, "How come it hurts, honey?" Tay's response is, "Because I hit myself in the tummy. Can you kiss it better?"

Trying to summarize one of the 15 transformer stories we have I say, "Megatron needed the map to get the spark." Taylor interrupts with, "Mommy, don't you mean Megatron needed the ancient code?"

#48) "Mommy, my bum hurts because I ate too many jelly beans." Totally random, right?

#47) "Don't say I'm your bestfriend mom."
"Why not, Tay?"
"Because I'm dangerous. I'm dangerous because I have a snake on my shirt."

#46) "Oh, mom, if you're going to Target can you pick me up a lightsaber. thanks."

#45) Taylor: "Daddy, can you put my Transformer's leg back on?"
Chris: "Sure. What happened to his leg, anyway?"
Taylor: "Megatron broke it off."

#44) "Isabelle, you are the prettiest girl in the whole world."

#43) "That was one gorgeous poop I made."

#42) As Taylor woke up from his nap and headed downstairs, Isabelle and myself were watching him. To this he said, "Don't look at me, I'm too special."

#41) "What are you drawing there, Tay?"
" A Masterpiece."

#40) "Mom, can I go live on the moon?"

#39) "Mom, can I have a warm dog and a hot dog for lunch?"

#38) I had asked Taylor to wait for me upstairs while I finished some things in the kitchen before nap. He waited for a bit and then yelled down the stairs, "HEY LADY! come read me a story!"

#37) "This aspargagas is bad. Send it back to the kitchen!"